(no subject)

[mynameiscassie]

Dated Apr 27, 2017

Things got weird. First there was that whole thing with the hatching demon creatures. Cliff was right, I realized. This city never did anything small or safe. Getting Rachel moved into my apartment was easy, and I was glad to have her here.

Especially now.

Miles was gone. I knew he was gone, because I'd been looking for him, almost frantically, using any morph I could think of that would help me find him: I tracked his scent in dog and wolf morphs. I scouted his bedroom window in osprey and owl morphs. I used my seagull morph to blend into the cityscape to try to find him going to or from Darrow High, or his job, or even some crime scenes.

I even went to the vampires that had kidnapped me and tried to see if they'd somehow gotten him, this time.

He was nowhere. He was gone.

Now I knew how he felt, because I'd disappeared on him before. This was awful. I felt like a part of me had been cut out and hidden somewhere that I couldn't find it. Was that dramatic? In my better moments, it felt dramatic. In my worst, alone in my bed at night, curled up and trying not to cry, it didn't feel dramatic enough.

It was always hard to tell when someone really went missing from this city, I realized as I poured Rachel and me bowls of Auspicious Trinkets — auspiciously delicious! — for breakfast. Jessica had given me Snowflake (given her back, technically), and she and Pangur were watching me from the corner of the counter. I was glad they got along so well, at least. I wondered how long Snowflake had noticed Miles was gone. But it had been three days since he missed our date, and I'd skipped school to try to find him, the way that he'd tried to find me when the vampires took me. So I knew he'd been gone at least three days. But what if it had been longer? How could I be sure? We didn't text every single day.

Was I a bad girlfriend?

I gasped when something cold splashed against my hand, and realized I'd just over-filled one of the cereal bowls and gotten milk everywhere.

Something inside my swelled and bubbled up my throat. At first, for a single heartbeat, I thought I was going to be sick.

Then I screamed "Fuck!" and slammed the milk on the counter, splashing more. Pangur and Snowflake scrabbled off the counter and under the coffee table in the living room, and I backed away from my mess like I could back away from my feelings. I didn't stop until my back hit the fridge, and then I sagged down, curling up on the floor.

Comments

[ursus_horribilis]

"You did, a little bit," she replied with somewhat of a laugh. There was something weirdly funny about the mundane problems that came from the abnormal ones.

"But I know how to fix it. First, we clean up. Then we get dressed, properly, and then we find the nearest place that serves a mountain of pancakes."

If the determination to do something cheerful didn't shine through Rachel's voice, it showed in that she immediately began to wipe up the milk, shooing Pangur away in the process.

"Come on. Let's do it!" she said, grinning.

[mynameiscassie]

My smile was wobbly, but it was there when Rachel used her usual Rachel fervor to try to cheer me up. "Okay," I said. I pushed myself up, scrubbing my face clean. I had milk on my hand still, so I washed them both, then my face, then took the bowls of ruined cereal to flush them down the toilet. It wasn't ideal, but at least the Trinkets wouldn't clog the sink.

[ursus_horribilis]

Between Cassie taking care of the cereal and Rachel wiping down the rest of the kitchen, things were looking a lot better already. Putting some clothes on didn't take all too long either; the day's outfit had already been planned during the shower and as such was not terribly difficult to throw together.

"So I'm thinking we grab a stack of pancakes each - or, even better, we just combine both into one megastack, like the Voltron of pancakes - and then we can just talk. I wish I'd had more time to get to know him, but you can tell me about Miles. Or we can talk about anything else! It's up to you."

She didn't bother with her usual routine of having a look at whether or not there was advice to give for Cassie's look. Today was not the day for it.

[mynameiscassie]

Getting out of the apartment was nice. Sure, I'd been doing a lot of that, anyway, but it was different with Rachel. I knew she'd make sure I didn't get too lost in my own head.

I made sure to wash my face before we left, and one of us had our keys. If not, we could always morph our way under the door!

I didn't talk about Miles. I wasn't sure I could, not yet. So instead, I talked about some of the extra-credit work I was picking up to keep my mind occupied at school.

[ursus_horribilis]

It was good to see the change in her demeanor. Not that the sudden disappearance of a boyfriend was going to just go away because of some pancakes, but Cass would get better, and nipping the sadness in the bud was clearly the right choice.

Bit by bit, the pancakes were disappearing, and as they talked - with an extra order of milkshakes placed, because milkshakes were always the right choice - Rachel's worries began to subside. Even if the subject turned to school.

"You know, I'm still weirded out by the schoolwork here. History especially. I never know whether something from back home is also history here. It's so...annoying."

[mynameiscassie]

"The history here is so weird," I agreed. "I sort of want to just rent a couple of history books from the library and try to compare to what I remember the history books from home saying."

I paused, then frowned and laughed a little.

"God, that sounds so lame, even to me," I admitted. I actually wanted to study history? What a dweeb! But it felt good to laugh, even just a little.

[ursus_horribilis]

"Maybe a little lame," Rachel said in response, trying to wolf down another pancake, "but it does actually sound interesting. I mean, what if they have George Oregon instead of George Washington? C'mon, it could be hilarious!"